The WIP Raven Post # 4 My Artist's Way and the Search for the Spark

In which I've been doing the Artist Way for a few weeks now and rekindling my creativity by revisiting things that spark my inner-child.

I’ll be completely honest in my Substack, the burnout has been bad. After nearly two years of trying to get Love and Justice, book 2 of my New Heroes series, I’ve started feeling lost and hopeless. It scares me to think I’d attempted to do this since 2021, fresh after publishing my first novel, only to find myself constantly having to push back the release dates, and ultimately removing any sign of a concrete date (for the time being).

Enter The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I heard about this book from a class I was watching on Skillshare sometime last year and hadn’t really thought much of it other than adding the title to my Kindle list. At the time, I didn’t really know how to get a copy, much of what it really was about, or if I really needed it. It was only until I watched a series of vlogs by Youtuber and artist, Apple Cheeks, that I considered its use.

I was an artist/writer with burnout and I was a creative who felt like I lost my spark. I ordered a copy online, since I’ve now learned how to buy books via Amazon, shipped to the Philippines, and then waited anxiously for it to come, hoping that maybe this might give me a new spark or at least some insight.So started my three months of reading through the essays, Morning Pages, and mindfully addressing Time-Spent-Doing-What-I-Want Artist’s Dates.

Typing this down a week or so after the fact feels like I’m still processing or trying to gather my thoughts about everything I’ve learned, but I know that if I don’t try to write something now I might lose my momentum and never document at all.

One of my main takeaways from The Artist’s Way is connecting my faith to my art in a way that I’ve never once thought I could be allowed to but somehow something that, deep down, has always been something I’ve needed. It really hit home for me, especially as someone who has a propensity for reflection and overthinking personal morals.

I used to think that indulgence and following one’s true passions might lead to destruction, selfishness, and ruin. I used to think that I had to conform to what seems to be ‘acceptable’ for an adult—find a job that ‘makes sense’, for example, or write the kind of book or do the kind of work that more people would like. I never once considered that one’s ‘inner artist’ is something that needed to be cared for, or that one’s own desires, likes, and dislikes mattered so much in connection with one’s taste and artistic signature.

In reading The Artist’s Way, I felt like I found myself and discovered a new way of connecting with God and my faith. I learned, probably for the first time in my adult life, to be kind to myself. Truly kind.

It’s amazing how, once we really allow ourselves certain liberties and patience, it becomes clear how terrible or unjust we may be to ourselves most of all. This also goes in step with my personal healing, especially in terms of unlearning toxic mental processes that have become self-sabotage. I had to unlearn the tendency and need for perfection as a standard of value, which is something I’ve taken into myself since my younger years in school.

I’ve learned to consider the possibility that God’s love may be far more infinite, more personal, and more complex. Perhaps it isn’t about shame and perhaps creativity is its own sweet blessing.

I’ve learned that it’s important to put ‘Fun’ into the equation, not just as an afterthought but as a necessity. This, most of all, may be the root cause of my burnout.

There has been a lot of pressure on me, self-imposed, to bring this book about, survive it through the tedious day-job, and somehow continue to do the same thing over and over like all the rapid-release indies before me. It’s taken months of guidance and advice from fellow-authors, as well as this book, to completely re-affirm that I’m allowed to have my own pace. It’s a lot more nuanced and complex than how I’ve put it here, but I’m just writing this as a recap.

Most importantly, this book has also made it absolutely clear to me that I’m not where I want to be with my current Day Job. It wasn’t just burnout for the day job, it has not been good for my mental health. The Artist’s Way, in helping me find a new strength in my creative voice as well as faith in my goals, has prompted me to set my plan of moving career paths into motion. I don’t have to stay in the ‘safe job’ where I ultimately suffer as a result, perhaps there is a better place for me and my skills if I actually let go of the fear.

I used to think there might be something wrong with me for ‘failing’ to stay in a job for too long, but maybe the thing is I just haven’t found the right one.

So, now, how does this factor into my art and burnout?

I am now actively allowing myself to find the spark and the fun of it. I know it sounds like something I’ve always been saying already, but since this book, I feel a shift in perspective when it comes to this very thing. I know it’ll take more than three months and one read-through to get a proper habit of healing going, but it’s happening. I’m not magically healing from my Writer’s/Artist’s Block overnight, it’s a process. I’m still filling the ‘Artist Well’ and slowly rekindling things that needed rekindling.

But I’m finding myself falling back into love with the idea of writing novels again, finally trying out Scrivener with their current November Promo; and, while I didn’t get to write or edit 50k words with the rest of the writing community this month, I’m leaning towards the use of writing tools again.

As for art, I know that I barely posted much this year, but I’ve gotten myself some artist treats and upgrades by finally getting myself the Clip Studio Paint subscription or a new set of markers. Although I know it isn’t always about buying stuff, off course. It’s mostly to prompt me to get curious and to use these things to create.

I also started reading an ebook about Writing as an INFP.

I want to see where my creative curiosity takes me and to allow myself to play around for a while, not take myself too seriously. After all, I think writing Heart and Hero and putting it out there has been, first and foremost, a leap of creative faith.